WEEK 11 WRAP-UP: JAMIE EASON LIVE FIT PROGRAM

It's almost over!

On the one hand, I'm kind of sad.

On the other hand, I'm excited.

I'm excited to complete this program and be able to say that I made it through. I don't know if I've ever completed a full program from start to finish before. I usually lose steam about halfway through the program. Even though I missed a week, I'm at the end of Week 11 and next week is the last week.

I actually really enjoyed Week 11. It was circuits with less weight but more reps, and cycling through a circuit and THEN resting. I had to remind myself that this workout was more about reps and less about weight. But it was...dare I say, FUN?

But I will be honest. I know that I have not made the progress I had hoped I would because my nutrition is not 100% on point. It's not horrible, but I know that it could be better. There were some slip ups and some cheating. Okay, more than a few times of cheating, but I know that it's the reason for not losing weight.

And I know that it's not all about the number on the scale, but as a woman, I want to see that number go down! I'm just saying. But I know my problem. And I know that it's about progress, not perfection, so I won't beat myself up too much. Plus my husband says that he can see changes (even if I don't see them so much).

I just want to shake my fist at PCOS. It's a horrible disorder that makes it difficult to lose weight and makes you crave carbs! Any woman who is trying to lose weight's worst nightmare.

Oh well. I just have to keep chugging along. I have to remind myself that I have lost 30lbs since 2011...and that I used to be 30lbs heavier. It's these last set that are hard to get rid of.

Plus, FOOD IS DELICIOUS.

I really wish I loved vegetables.

WEEK 10 WRAP-UP: JAMIE EASON LIVE FIT PROGRAM

I have a confession to make.

Week 9 was a wash. I tweaked my neck and shoulder after I tripped on my suitcase (I know, a likely story) and was out of commission for the week. I couldn't even sit up straight without being in pain. Luckily, I was able to make an appointment with my chiropractor who clicked me back into place. It took about three days after that to feel back to normal and not sore anymore. 

This is real life. And accidents and bumps in the road happen.

In a weird twist of events, I actually missed going to the gym.

I'm happy to report that I was back in the gym this week and completed Week 10. 

So I must say that this was probably my least favorite part of the entire program. That's because it incorporated "active rest" period of plyometric type stuff such as mountain climbers, jump squats, burpees (I hate burpees) and such.

I survived.

But man, the third day in the gym after doing mountain climbers on Monday, my IT bands were killing. I didn't feel all the soreness at first, but as soon as I tried to do another mountain climber, my legs about fell off.

I'm not doing the carb cycling as the program suggests in the nutrition department, but I'm following a food plan laid out by my sister in law who is an aspiring bodybuilder. The food plan is set up to help me lose 15 lbs or so. It's a lot of food to eat!

WEEK 8 WRAP-UP: JAMIE EASON LIVE FIT PROGRAM

I've made it through two months of this program! 8 weeks doesn't sound too long, but considering that it takes time and dedication and commitment to complete any fitness program, I'm so proud to have made it this far.

This week included supersets and cardio.

This is a short and sweet update, because it's just more of the same!

Week 7 Wrap-Up: Jamie Eason Live Fit Program

My, my, my where has the time gone. You know, when I first embarked on this 12-week adventure, I never imagined that it was going to go by quickly. I figured more that it would be slow, possibly tedious, and easy to quit.

The funny thing is, I haven't quit! There have been some bumps in the road. Some stumbling blocks. Some cheating. But overall, I have been getting myself to the gym. And it's been awesome.

I wish I could say that I've been 100% faithful to the nutrition plan, but this is real life people.

However, the thing that I have learned in the process of this program is that when you want something enough, you're willing to put the work in like never before.

I have this goal, this desire, this yearning to start our family. And I know that a lot of it is on me. I know, I know, it's a 50/50 partnership with your spouse, but let's be real....I will be the one with the bun in the oven. And in a true, valiant effort to make things happen, I know that I need to get in shape.

If anything, exercising is just a good idea. Period. If there are added benefits such as lowered insulin resistance, less PCOS symptoms, and regulated hormones, then that's just a bonus.

Week 7 of the Jamie Eason Live Fit Program was more of the same from weeks 5 and 6, a little different, but cardio on non-leg days and dedicated leg days.

You know, I see the same people at the gym nearly every day. And even when I go at different times. Which makes me wonder, DO THESE PEOPLE WORK? How can they spend 3 hours at the gym everyday? Who knows. I don't. Maybe they do. Maybe they don't, it's none of my business.

But I can see that it's that laser type focus that helps you get things done. Build those muscles. Cut that physique.

Here's to Week 8.

Week 6 Wrap-Up: Jamie Eason Live Fit Program

Halfway done with the program! And I'm feeling great! And I feel like I'm Internet yelling! (which I wouldn't do in real life....it's easy to be excited online.)

Week 6 was interesting. My schedule was jam packed with things to do besides the gym, but I still made time to workout Monday-Wednesday and Friday-Saturday. I decided to make the effort to go into work early so that I could leave early and hit up the gym. Or, like on Tuesday, where I felt like Superwoman because I dealt with some fraudulent charges on my debit card (thanks random person in South Carolina), walked my dog twice, went to get gas instead of running on fumes, had a photoshoot at the State Fair, and finished the day off at the gym. Under "normal" circumstances, I would have skipped the gym, but something in me was like, "you have time, you should go". So I did. Must be some extra energy from the regularity of working out. Let's go with it.

Week 6 workouts are identical to Week 5, with the incorporation of cardio on four days a week. I'm super excited that Gilmore Girls is now on Netflix because I have the perfect way to pass the time on the elliptical. I'm hoping that by adding cardio back into the workout, it'll start to burn a little more fat. 

The crazy thing about working out is that you want to see changes. Okay, I want to see changes. But because you see yourself everyday, it's a lot harder to see your own changes. That's why I'm making an effort to take photos weekly so hopefully, when I look back, I'll see how far I've come. I've found that relying on the number on the scale is a lost cause. 

Can I just say that I want the scale to budge?! Just a few pounds. While I'm glad that it hasn't gone up and since my heaviest-ever weight, I've lost 30lbs or so....it would be nice to see it go down a few more pounds. Especially with all my effort! 

Food and nutrition is more of the same. I must say, however, that I'm a fan of my protein shakes that I drink as soon as I get home from the gym. Jamie talks about supplementation and I think that the protein shakes are a huge part of that! 

I've been using Nature's Best Isopure Low Carb Dutch Chocolate Protein Powder. I also use it for the protein bars I've made. I love it because it tastes good when mixed with water (which seems rare in the protein shake world) and it packs 50g of protein per serving. I haven't found any other protein powder with that much protein. Most have 20-25g per serving. This one has double that! I've purchased it from Puritan's Pride and Amazon.



I've also been using Advocare's Catalyst, which is their BCAA (branch chain amino acids) product before I go workout. I can't say I notice a difference between taking them and not because since I've started this program, I've taken them every workout. I'd try it without them, but why do that?!



I can't believe that Week 7 is already here. At the outset, 12 weeks seems like a long time. But with how fast the days go by, it's really not that long!

Week 5 Wrap-Up: Jamie Eason Live Fit Program

Made it through Week 5!

I think the best benefit that I have gained from starting this program has been the new habit of going to the gym. And not just going to the gym, but going to the gym with purpose. Knowing which machines to use and how many reps to do.

Week 5 starts Phase 2 of the Jamie Eason Live Fit Program. In Phase 2, cardio is put back into the workout. Also, workouts are increased to 6 days a week. Now, I will be honest, going to the gym 6 days a week is not the easiest endeavor. In fact, with my schedule, I still only find myself going 5 days a week, but that's still exponentially more times than I have gone in the last two years. 

I think that through this program I have used my gym membership more in the last five weeks than in the last three years. (I have a sweet deal at 24hour Fitness with a yearly membership fee of only $99. I hope they never revoke that! It was set up maybe 15 years ago [crazy!] through my dad's then-workplace with a sweet corporate discount. 

Anyway, as much as I love doing weight workouts, I'm not a huge fan of cardio. Luckily, it's only for 30 minutes and with the miracle of technology, I can pass the time watching Netflix. On current rotation: Gilmore Girls and Call the Midwife. 

Also in Phase 2 is lifting heavier weight since the rep count is lower. This means more like 85% total max reps. One of the really cool things is to see myself gain strength. I have yet to see a lot of muscle definition thanks to good ol' layers of chub, BUT I feel stronger. I did bicep curls with 20lb dumbbells! What?!

Food has and always will be a challenge. I've been really good about bringing my food to work and eating it there. However, my lunches are boring and kind of not exactly on the food plan. I'm eating bread. WHHHHATTT?! I'd like to point out that it's "Flax and Fiber" bread so I'll rationalize that at least it's not white bread, right? I've noticed that eating every few hours has definitely been beneficial to both my blood sugar level and mental state. 

Before I started this program, I would go hours without eating and then be ravenous and hangry until I got some food in me. I would get the shakes because my blood sugar was low. Not the smartest, I know, but finally, finally, finally, I'm seeing the light. 

I do have a cheat day(s) on the weekends, so I do account for slower progress due to that fact, but I'm okay with it. I feel myself getting stronger and will continue doing my best to eat healthy. It's been 5 weeks of no fast food, too! That's a miracle in and of itself!

Onto week 6!

Dear Aunt Flo...

Why must you show up at the most inopportune moments? Seriously.

My period tracker app, Glow, estimated that my period should start on October 2. Then, unbeknownst to me, on September 30th there seems to be some spotting (sorry if it's TMI). When I noticed, I start Googling, and I try to convince myself that maybe it's implantation bleeding. The only thing is that the dates don't line up for it to be that.

I try to talk myself out of the idea that it's my period coming. Because that means the Ovidrel didn't work. Because it means that I stabbed myself in the stomach for seemingly nothing. Because it means that I wasted precious dollars on a dream deferred.

Alas, we are not pregnant. And AF came early. So instead of 28 days, it was 27. How rude is that? Especially when last month it was 31 days. Hey, body, get it together.

Seeing as how we're not pregnant, I'm giving the chemicals and drugs a rest. It was actually kind of weird to not start taking something on Day 3. It was a good feeling, strangely enough. I'm okay with it. I trust God and what he has planned for us, and it's this whole trying to get pregnant thing has me clinging to him. Trusting him. No matter what.

So what's next?

Well, in my never-ending research for resolving my PCOS and infertility, from supplements and superfoods, and vitamins and green smoothies, I started to look into Essential Oils. I have a handful of friends who swear by their oils for various uses, mostly for allergies, immunity, germs, and stress. Stuff started popping up in my Facebook feed more and more that I just had to check it out.

I'm a fairly skeptical person, and while I don't have any idea if Essential Oils will work for me or not, I'm thinking that at least it's all natural. It's not more chemicals and these oils have been shown to balance hormones (which is my main problem!) and help manage a whole bunch (too numerous to list) of ailments and issues.

After a lot of Googling and searching through blogs on Essential Oils, I found a few articles that specifically talked about PCOS and infertility. If figure that I can give it a whirl. Why not? It seems like a better choice than more Clomid and freaking my ovaries out and messing with natural hormones like estrogen and progesterone. I believe that I have estrogen-dominance and progesterone deficiency.

Fertility & PCOS:
Balanced Essentials
Essential Oils & Supplements for Male and Female Fertility
3 Essential Oils that Enhance Fertility
Essential Oils and Fertility
Female Infertility & Essential Oils
Increase Fertility with Essential Oils
Aromatherapy for Fertility
Ocotea Essential Oil
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

So I think that I'm going to take the plunge. Take the plunge into Essential Oils. Since I have a bunch of friends using Young Living, that's the route I've decided to go.



I'm looking forward to trying something new and healing myself naturally!

WEEK 4 WRAP-UP: JAMIE EASON LIVE FIT PROGRAM

I've made it through another week!

I'm kind of sad that the workouts won't be just weight lifting anymore as cardio starts up next week. But I guess it's needed for further progress.

I can already see that things are about to get tough in terms of being able to keep my schedule of working out while balancing work, photo shoots, and other social events. I'm not a huge social butterfly, so I think in most cases I'll be able to bow out of events, but there are just some things that are going to bump my workouts.

I'm loving the weight lifting though. I can feel myself feel stronger in just these four weeks. I'm looking forward to where I get in another eight weeks.


Also, I really need to work on gym selfies. I'm not very good...at all. But look! A wee muscle seems to be popping out in my bicep!

I know that I could be doing even better if I was really strict with my food, but the fact that I'm even making it to the gym on the daily, I'm going to give myself a high five for that alone.

Let's do this Week 5.

Natural Healing and All Things Woo-Woo

In our quest to get pregnant, I've been researching all kinds of things. And while I know it's more common to go the Western route and find a good reproductive endocrinologist (RE), there's just something about all the drugs and chemicals that makes me wary.

My period tracking app, Glow, tells me that I should get my next period on October 2. This has me thinking about several things. First, what if the Ovidrel and Clomid works and we get pregnant?! Second, what if the Ovidrel and Clomid didn't work, and yet another month "wasted". Third, what can I be doing to help myself that doesn't involve medication? Fourth, could this nutrition testing thing really work?

The "What-If's" are killer. I know I shouldn't dwell in them. It'll make me crazy.

So, I don't even know the actual "correct" term of the appointments I'm going to. But it's through my chiropractors office and they call it "Nutrition". I think the tech is a naturopath, trained in nutrition testing. Basically, she checks my nervous system for pulses and can find my deficiencies and areas that need supplementation.

Yeah, it looks and seems totally woo-woo.

I'm like, I could totally fake that. How do I know what she's doing is even real? How does she "feel" these things? It's really weird. But every time that I see her, and she gives me a new supplement, I Google it, and it seems to line up. On my first visit, she asked me if I ever had trouble with my thyroid. And I know that I'm probably a good candidate for hypothyroidism, but it's never come up with my doctor.

Anyway, I take so many supplements these days it's comical. I take Advocare's MNS 3 packets. I also take a whole host of different whole food supplements from my chiropractor. On top of that I have my Metformin prescription for the PCOS and prenatal vitamins. I imagine I have some really expensive pee.

Too far?

And then this cycle we did the Clomid and Ovidrel. Gosh, this waiting period is long, yet short. It's one of those situations where I just want to know! So that I can move to the next step, depending on what that is. I know that I shouldn't live in anticipation of what's next, but rather savor where I am now. I do. I try not to think about it too much, but when I walk my dog in the mornings, it's thoughts like this that tend to consume me.

I'm also wondering if at the end of the 12 nutrition appointments, if I should continue. It's OF COURSE not covered by insurance, so it's all out of pocket, and with the number of supplements I'm taking on a daily basis, it adds up quickly.

Thanks to good ol' Google, you can find a lot of information, and I have been reading up on Natural Fertility Info, and I think that may be next (if the Ovidrel didn't do it's thing). I've been reading about Femaprin and Maca Root, Vitex, Royal Jelly, and Evening Primrose Oil.



I told my husband that if we don't get pregnant, that I'd like to give the prescriptions a rest for the remainder of the year. Trying to get pregnant is hard work! (Yes, that's funny depending how you read it.) It's also way more difficult for us who have conditions like PCOS. Oh and I just learned that September is PCOS Awareness Month. If you want a comprehensive rundown of PCOS, check out Chelsea's post here.


I know it's in this period of waiting that I need to hold tight to my faith. And that's always the hardest time to do that. I know that He is able to exceed beyond what we could ever ask for or imagine. So I do, I hold tight to His promises and His will, especially during this time of waiting.


Week 3 Wrap-Up: Jamie Eason Live Fit Program

Another week has gone by and I am entering week 4! It's gone by so quickly and I think that I have developed a new habit: working out!

I still need to be better about my nutrition, not that I have been eating exceedingly bad, but I have not been super strict about my diet either. Which I'm okay with because I feel more sane that way. Friday nights are usually my cheat day and I'm good with it.

I know that anything that is worth the effort doesn't come easy. But I have to say, I wish I liked vegetables. I really do hate them. And maybe it's the way I prepare them, but broccoli makes me want to gag. Green beans are totally unappetizing. And of course the only way I really will eat them is if they are slathered in a sauce or something. Totally defeating the point.

Luckily, I have one saving grace in this battle with vegetables: the green smoothie. I am onboard with green smoothies. I can eat a whole pile of spinach and never even have to taste it. (I must say, I do like spinach salads). And mixed with frozen berries, it's the perfect frozen treat.

My Green Smoothie Formula:

1 cup water
1-2 cups fresh spinach
1 banana
1 cup frozen fruit


Blend the water and spinach first. Then add the banana. Then the frozen fruit. Voila, perfect smoothie.

I'm wondering if I can toss broccoli in there and get the same effect. I know some people use kale, and I have yet to try that out. But I imagine that as long as there is fruit, the taste of the veggies should disappear.

My husband thinks I'm ridiculous for my distaste for vegetables. But what can I say, growing up, our vegetables included salad (with Ranch dressing) and corn. Carrots in pot roast or curry. And yeah. Seldom would you see broccoli on our dinner table. It's okay, I still make him broccoli and attempt to eat a few pieces before it makes me want to hurl.

So there's that. About the workouts...

In Week 3, Jamie encourages you to increase your weights from the 60% max weight from Weeks 1-2, to 85% of max weight. Sometimes it's a little hard to figure out the accurate weight to lift, but the reps have been decreased from 12 to 10.



I definitely feel like I am getting stronger. I've increased the weights I'm lifting by at least a plate on the machines and I'm doing bicep curls with 15lb dumbbells! One day it'll be 30lb dumbbells.

I'm still enjoying the no cardio. In Phase 2, cardio starts up and I think I'll be choosing the elliptical. I'm also hoping that by incorporating cardio with weight lifting, I'll start to see even more changes.

I'm learning that the scale is not a friend. It's like that annoying kid in class who wants to trick you and point and laugh. And I know that I shouldn't weigh myself everyday because of fluctuations based on the time of the month and whatnot, but man, I want that digital display to move!

Oh well.

Onto Week 4!

Adventures in Fertility

Dealing with infertility has been a roller coaster journey. There are ups and downs and days when you feel completely filled with hope and other days when you feel completely depleted. And it feels like a lonely journey because not many people talk about it. Or they talk about it after they've made it to the other side - after they successfully get pregnant.

It's crazy to me that the one thing I had avoided for several years is now the thing that I want so badly. It makes me wonder if being on birth control previously was even worth it. Well, due to the PCOS, I think it was a necessary evil.

Last cycle (August), we did a round of Clomid and I matured some follicles. Yay! However, my uterine lining was not thick enough. AGAIN. Womp womp. When stuff like this happens, besides feeling disappointed, I also feel like a month of my life was wasted and so was that money for the fertility drugs. Yet another month not pregnant. I know that's not really reality, but that's what it feels like.

This cycle, we did another round of Clomid, this time with Estradiol suppositories. Yeah, suppositories. It's about as glamorous as it sounds. Not at all. It's weird and awkward and there are side effects. Like hot flashes. (I'm too young for those!) The suppositories are supposed to help with the lining to thicken up. I had to go to a special compounding pharmacy to pick those bad boys up. For five days, starting on Day 3, I was taking the Clomid (100mg) and inserting the estrogen suppositories before bedtime.

On Day 11, I went back to my OBGYN for an ultrasound to see how the fertility drugs had worked. Well, I matured another two follicles. However, that lining? That lining is stubborn and did not take to the suppositories like it was supposed to. But since we've been working on getting me pregnant for months now, my OBGYN decided to make the executive decision to go for it anyway and trigger ovulation with the handy dandy pre-filled syringe - Ovidrel as well as some oral Estradiol tablets.

My doctor showed me how to pinch my stomach and administer the shot. It's a good thing I'm not scared of needles. She ordered the prescription and I gathered my courage for this next step.

I went to our local Walgreens to pick everything up, except it turns out that they don't have the Ovidrel in stock. So I asked if they could find it because it was important that I take it the next day. After waiting in the Walgreens sitting area for almost 45 minutes, the pharmacist was able to track down a syringe of the stuff about 30 minutes away. Considering that I didn't have much of a choice, we drove out there. Oh by the way, that was not a cheap prescription...since it's not covered by insurance. (Apparently I need to move to Massachusetts where good insurance exists!)

The next day, Day 12, we did the trigger shot. I asked my husband to hold my skin for me as I gave myself the shot. And it wasn't bad at all. The needle is so skinny that it pretty much just slides under the skin and you kind of feel a small pinch when you inject the fluid, but it was no big deal especially in comparison to say a blood draw or giving blood. The needle was way smaller.

And then, as they say on pregnancy forums, there was required BD time. It took some Googling to figure out that stands for "Baby Dance"...I'm so not current on pregnancy acronyms. It's slightly unnerving when you have to BD at a certain and time, but at least it's fun.

And now we wait. We wait to see if AF (Aunt Flo, more acronyms!) comes in two weeks. Even then if AF doesn't come, I feel like I need to wait at least another week in case it's off by a few days.

I'm feeling hopeful, but at the same time I don't want to get my hopes up too high, because the disappointment is going to be big.

The waiting feels like torture. Because I want to think about it. I want to make scenarios of "what ifs" and such. I obviously want it to be positive. Want more acronyms? I want a BFP (big fat positive).

(Side note: I've never participated in online pregnancy forums, partially because half the time I can't read what they are saying because of all the darn acronyms - I do see how they are handy though.)

Are you going through infertility? What is your story?

Week 2 Wrap-Up: Jamie Eason's Live Fit Program

It's really kind of weird to be saying that I've enjoyed working out. But, I've enjoyed working out on this program so far. It's probably because there's no cardio involved.

I know some people are crazy about cardio.

I am not one of those people.

That's why I'm super happy to get in and out of the gym and completely bypassing the cardio machines.

Most of the workouts require free weights and there have been times where I feel like I have to fight people for equipment, but for the most part, I'm able to grab the machines or weights without a problem.

Things I've learned/observed since starting back at the gym:


  1. The receptionist at this 24-Hour Fitness rocks a crooked weave. It's one of those things where you wonder if they know just how bad/fake it looks. AND IF IT'S ON PURPOSE.
  2. There are a lot of big dudes that workout here. Like with big muscles. And they're always here when I get here. Which makes me wonder do they work or what?
  3. I get really annoyed when people monopolize the equipment. All I need is about 10-15 minutes (probably less) with the squat rack. This woman took her sweet time and must have done like 8 sets. Like I get it, but there are other people here! Stop being selfish.
  4. People are sweaty. And it's really gross when said sweaty people don't wipe down equipment after using it. I don't want your sweat mixed with mine. That's gross. I'm sweaty too.
  5. WHO ARE THESE WOMEN WHO ARE WEARING FULL ON MAKEUP AT THE GYM?
  6. And same said women who are clearly wearing their outfits in an attempt to catch anyone's eye. I know this has to do with self confidence.
  7. I'm a terrible gym selfie taker.
I can say that even though it's only been two weeks, I definitely feel a little bit stronger. I've been able to up the amount of weight I've been lifting, although I'm trying not to rush it.

As far as the food front goes, it's going okay. It could definitely be better.

I've been good about bringing my lunch to work, which helps me not to stray out to a fast food joint. I'm not going to lie, French Fries and Shakes sound delicious!

I have to say that Jamie Eason's Chocolate Protein Bars have been my saving grace. They satisfy my sweet tooth and I love that it's not cheating!

I do wish that I liked cooking more. It's not that I hate it, it's more that I feel like I hit a wall when it comes to figuring out what to make. If I could have my meal plan decided, purchased, and prepped for me, I'd have no problem with cooking every night. Sadly, that would mean hiring a personal chef. Not something in my budget.

Overall, I'm really happy that I'm doing this program, taking it day by day. I'm looking forward to see what kind of progress I can make happen.




Week 1 Wrap-Up | Jamie Eason's Live Fit Program

Last week I completed Week 1 of Jamie Eason's Live Fit Program.

This week I start Week 2 of the Live Fit Program via BodyBuilding.com.

And so far, it's been great!

Gym Selfie Week #1

Now, I'm not normally the type to get excited about working out, but returning to the gym and lifting weights has been really therapeutic in many ways. 

I like that there is no cardio this first month so that I focus on just lifting heavy things. 

I also like that I can take an hour out of my day, pop in my earbuds and just concentrate 100% on myself. We all need this, you know? 

I'm also excited at the results. In one week, I lost 3 lbs! I saw a number that I haven't seen in YEARS. I've been stuck at the same weight (which is the weight I was when I got married five years ago and before I gained 30+ lbs), for a couple of months, so I'm excited that this made it budge.

The eating more often thing has definitely been an adjustment. I've become so accustomed to do periods of eating and fasting (sometimes to the point of totally putting lunch off for hours) that getting to eat more often has had its own learning curve.

And to be totally honest, I haven't stuck 100% to the recommended eating plan, but I would say that it's been a good 80% and making good/best available choices for the other 20%. This has helped keep me sane.

Our dinners for the past few months have consisted of protein + vegetable, so there's no big changes there. It's just sometimes, things get monotonous and you need something to spice it up. I tried Jamie's recipe for a 3 Bean Turkey Chili and it was tasty. I think it's a great choice for having leftovers and a filling lunch option. 

I'm totally digging the Chocolate Protein Bars that Jamie has a recipe for. While they are not brownies in any sense, when you have that chocolate craving, they definitely do the trick. 

This next week includes 4 days at the gym with the weekend to recover. I'm ready for it!

Jamie Eason's Chocolate Protein Bars

So when I heard about these protein bars, I was kind of skeptical. After reading the list of ingredients I didn't think that their was any way that these could taste good. Like for real. I was even hesitant to make them. But since I made a commitment to stick to this program and it was one of the few things on the list that was sweet (and I LOVE SWEETS), I bit the bullet and decided to go for it.

Well, I was pleasantly surprised! As someone who will easily spit out food if it tastes gross to me, I was really happy about how these turned out. I ended up using Chocolate Whey Protein Powder (since that's what I have for my protein shakes) and I used Apple/Pear/Banana and Apple/Blueberry baby food (that was the first time I was ever in that aisle!). As for the Oat Flour, I googled it (since I couldn't find it in my local Kroger) and I simply put a cup of Old Fashioned Oatmeal in the food processor. So easy...and free!

While these protein bars resemble brownies, they do not taste like them. However, they do taste good! The taste is like a semi-sweet chocolate and they have the texture of a cake-like/spongy brownie, minus all the sugar! I had one while I was around some friends and they thought I was being greedy keeping the "brownie" to myself.

I would definitely make these again!




Chocolate Protein Bars

Calories: 96
Fat: 1.4 grams
Carbs: 12 grams
Protein: 10 grams

Ingredients:
1 cup Oat Flour (I put a cup of Oatmeal in the food processor and pulsed until fine)
4 Egg Whites
2 scoops Vanilla Whey Protein Powder (I used Nature's Best Isopure Dutch Chocolate Whey Protein Powder)
½ cup Splenda, Truvia, or Ideal
½ tsp Baking Soda
¼ tsp Salt
8oz Berry flavored Baby Food
3 tbsp Baking Cocoa
4oz Water

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Mix dry ingredients (oat flower, vanilla whey protein, baking soda, salt, baking cocoa)
together in a large bowl.
3. Mix wet ingredients (egg whites, Splenda, Truvia, or Ideal, Berry flavored Baby
Food,Water) together in a medium sized bowl.
4. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and mix together.
5. Spray cooking dish with a non stick butter spray and add batter to dish.
6. Bake 20-30 minutes in oven.

Makes 16 squares, serving size=2 bars.

Original Recipe: Jamie Eason's Chocolate Protein Bars

Jamie Eason's Live Fit Program: Getting Started

For the past six months, I've been going to Pure Barre classes. I love Pure Barre because it's low impact, but you definitely feel the burn, right away. Also, as a former dancer, it gives me my fill of ballet-like moves, even though there is zero dancing involved. I think it's all the turnout exercises.

However, my membership term came to an end, and while I love Pure Barre, it's not cheap. It's totally worth it, but I wanted to try something different. I'll most like go back to Pure Barre in January. I already miss it. Even though sometimes, it feels like a struggle to simply get there. As soon as I'm in class and we've made it through the first warmup I know that's it's just downhill. In a good way.

Well, a few weeks ago I was perusing the web and came upon the Made with Love blog. I had heard and read about Jamie Eason's Live Fit Program a while ago and thanks to the good ol' World Wide Web, I was looking for some reviews. Enter Alesha's blog. She did a week-by-week update of her progress and food prep. It's awesome. It's what sold me on the idea of doing Jamie Eason's program. (It's a free program by the way!)

With our struggles to get pregnant (while everyone and their sister gets preggo!) I knew that some additional weight loss couldn't hurt. PCOS sucks and the whole "trouble losing weight" is a bugger. It's just the "symptom" every girl wants, right? And while I love me some Pure Barre, I just needed a change of pace. Plus, who doesn't want Michelle Obama arms? A girl can dream, right?

So on Saturday I hit up the gym to make sure my membership still worked and then on Monday, yes, Labor Day, I started the Jamie Eason Live Fit Program.

Gym selfies are the most awkward, but I needed a "before" photo. And the gym wasn't too crowded in that corner!

It's funny how much you don't realize you'd made progress until you see an old photo. As of this blog post, I've lost 26 lbs from my highest weight, and finally made it back to my pre-wedding weight. The married 20 is for real. The struggle is real. In fact, in the first year of marriage, I gained almost thirty pounds. Talk about no self control, portion control, or limits! Goodness.

My goals in doing this program are to lose 10-15lbs and gain muscle. I'd love to see more tone and definition throughout. Overall, I just want to feel better and healthier. And maybe, just maybe it'll help with my PCOS symptoms.


The Live Fit Program is 12 weeks long with the first month being weight lifting alone. As someone who prefers not to run (actually, I loathe it), this no-cardio thing is totally welcome! I'm pretty excited to spend this first month just lifting weights. In fact, weightlifting was my favorite unit in high school PE. (I hated tumbling! BTW, why is "tumbling" even a unit?!)

My husband's brother has been bulking and building his physique over the last year thanks to his wife who is an aspiring bodybuilder (and about to have their first baby). I consulted her back in January (before I started up Pure Barre) when I first embarked on returning to the gym. While I have no aspirations of becoming a bodybuilder or anything like that, I know that they are awesome resources.

I think that my biggest challenge is not going to be the workouts. It's going to be the food. I know that preparation will be the key to success in all of this. And some self control wouldn't hurt either.

I'm excited about this journey. I plan to blog my progress and use this blog to help keep me accountable. While 12 weeks sounds like a long time, I know that it will pass quickly. I want to give my all to this program and make the most of it.

I'll report back with my thoughts on Week 1 of Jamie Eason's Live Fit Program!



Where to begin...

I started blogging here as a way to get my thoughts out and a place to think out loud. It's been almost two years since I first posted and well, there's no bun in the oven yet.

It's funny.

When you decide that you're "ready" to get pregnant, it's a whole lot easier said than done. We just celebrated five years of marriage last month, and with that amount of time passed, we inevitably get the question about babies all the time. And unless you're 100% decided that you're not going to have them, what are you supposed to say? What are you supposed to say when you are trying.

The default answer is usually, "We're working on it."

Which is just code for "Yes, we're having a lot of unprotected sex, thanks for asking." It's so awkward when you think about it. "Why, yes, person I don't know that well, I want to tell you about my bedroom activities." Oh goodness.

And no one tells you just how hard it is to go through infertility.

You receive tons of well wishes, prayers, and that indescribable look on people's faces when they feel sorry for you and don't know what to say. Yeah, I know, I'm kind of damaged and you don't know what to do about it.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the prayers and well wishes. It's just so hard when you want something really bad but there's not much you can do to get it. It's not like if I just workout one more day a week or for thirty minutes longer that I'll get to my goal.

I never realized how much patience this was going to entail.

Or how much jealousy.

Oh gosh. Jealousy. She totally reared her ugly head recently. I feel like I'm constantly surrounded by pregnant women. Either they just announced their pregnancy, are in the thick of it, or are about to give birth. I guess it's the perfect storm of my age and stage in life. Most people that I went to high school or college with are either 1) still single 2) married and pregnant  3) second pregnancy or 4) divorced.

The divorce thing always throws me off. And I feel kinda bad because I figure it out thanks to good ol' Facebook stalking and deductive reasoning. As my husband constantly bugs me about, CONTEXT CLUES.

But back to jealousy. We were at dinner and I had a sudden bout of just bitterness and jealousy about our infertility. I admitted to the fact that I'm envious. I admitted to the fact that I have a hard time being excited about other women's pregnancies, especially when I should. It just feels like it's SO EASY FOR EVERYONE ELSE.

And it's weird because infertility can be and often is a lonely road. People don't talk about it much, whether they just want to keep it private or are embarrassed or ashamed or frustrated, or whatever. And it's that lack of talking about it that makes you feel alone. Makes me feel alone.

But there have been some silver linings. Some rays of hope that motivate me to keep moving forward. It's when I read or hear about other people's experiences with infertility and then hear that they were able to conceive. It gives me hope.


Jealousy vs. Joy

No one really talks about it.

No one wants to admit that they struggle with it.

No one wants to show they true colors when it comes to the color green.

But I'll admit it.

I'm jealous.

I'm jealous of all the pregnant women I see. I know that deep down I'm happy for them, but the first thing I feel, especially lately is jealousy. Envy. I covet what they have.

I know that Envy is one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

And it is for a reason.

Envy eats at you. It makes you unhappy. It causes a pit to form in your stomach. It's not a good feeling.

But I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel jealous.

Infertility is a lonely road.

No thanks to that chap, Comparison.

It's so true that...

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

In moments when I feel like comparing where I am now to someone else's journey it's both unproductive and a major buzzkill.

It sucks to compare.

AND YET, IT'S SO EASY.

I think because it's easy to compare and to feel jealous, it's the go-to emotion.

You know what's hard?

Contentment.

Joy.

In a time that feels like you'll never get ahead, joy is the last thing you want to feel for someone else. Contentment feels like waving the white flag. But it's not.

Joy and contentment are way harder, but so much better for you.

I do my best to feel joy for my friends who are expecting.
I do my best to be content with where I am.

I know I'm not in control, as much as I would like to be in the driver's seat. It's in giving up that control that joy and contentment can take over, in a good way.





Is it time for a Specialist?

Back in June, I went to see my doctor for a follow up after taking Femara to stimulate my ovaries and hopefully ovulate. I went in for a sonogram, and while some follicles had matured, the lining of the uterus was not thick enough to support implantation.

Or as I understood it, even if there was a fertilized egg, it wouldn't stick, and the pregnancy wouldn't stick. Great.

But, my OBGYN wasn't discouraged, and referred me to an RE - Reproductive Endocrinologist for those who can't read pregnancy/infertility code (I always have to google it). I thought it might be a little premature to see a specialist, but she was confident that they could give me better guidance than she could. She just felt it was slightly out of her scope of knowledge when it comes to OBGYN stuff. And since I'm just a tad over 30, she said she didn't need to be wasting my time if it wasn't going to work.

Now here's the thing with going to see a fertility specialist. I feel like "fertility" is sort of like the word "wedding". You add it in front of anything and instantly things get expensive. Oh and unless you have crazy awesome insurance, insurance typically doesn't cover fertility specialists.

Or as the insurance customer service rep said, "You plan covers diagnostics, but if you are diagnosed with anything, there is no coverage." Yay. Awesome. Sweet. I get to pay everything!

But when you want a baby, and you know that there's still hope that you can have one yourself, you'll do what you need to do. So I made an appointment, wrote down all the notes that my OBGYN had told me so I could prep for the consultation, and got ready.

The RE's office warned me that I would have to pay the consultation fee up front just in case my insurance didn't cover it. (Annoying point #1).

I got to the office for my appointment and signed in. I sat down in the waiting room and spotted a man with a little white paper bag. Yeah, I knew what that was for. When our glances crossed paths, we both looked away quickly. Awkward.

The nurse called my name and we did the basics: vital signs, weight, height, basic history. Yada yada. She led me into an exam room to wait for the doctor. I thought it was kind of weird because the room was basically dark save for a lamp. I sat on the rolling stool to the side of the exam table, typically used for sonograms based on the equipment in the room.

After what felt like twenty minutes (probably less), but I did play a couple rounds of 2048 and checked Instagram several times, the doctor came to get me and walked me down to his office.

So here's the thing, I generally try to avoid male doctors when it comes to lady part type issues. However, there seems to be a HUGE gap in the reproductive endocrinology field between men and women. After some Googling, most practices are run by men. Fine, that's cool. I still think it's weird that men are interested in parts they'll never have or truly understand, but whatever, such is life.

Anyway, the RE starts asking me questions and going over history and basic stuff. Then he tells me about the general course of treatment. Sonogram, clomid, sonogram, HCG shots, another sonogram (I'm probably missing something since I'm recalling this from memory), then pray you get pregnant. (That's my dumbed down version).

I told him about what my doctor said about thin uterine lining and asked about that because based on what my OBGYN said, it sounded like they would just have to give me some pills or shots or something to build up the lining for the next round. But he said that we'd have to go through the basics of sonograms and Clomid to get the base line of where I was at. (Annoying point #2)

I like to think of myself as a pragmatist. I try to do things that make the most sense financially and healthwise, generally speaking. And basically, the course of treatment he was describing sounded EXACTLY like what my OBGYN could do. In my mind, if my OB could do it in her office, WHY would I pay everything out of pocket to see the RE, if the treatment was THE SAME?

With the RE, the same course of treatment would cost $450 + the cost of prescriptions, while with my OB it would be $20 copays + the cost of prescriptions. Or, a fraction of the cost.

It just wasn't adding up for me. Why would I choose the more expensive route if the treatment was EXACTLY THE SAME? I was telling my mom about this, and I told her that if the RE had suggested something outside of what my OBGYN and I had discussed or a totally different course, then I would have considered moving forward with the RE.

But if it's the same....then WHY pay more?

Please know that these are simply my own opinions and anyone else who is wading the seas of infertility, you can make whatever choices you want and I have no judgment about them. But for me, it just didn't make sense.

Luckily, I was going to see my OBGYN later that week for my annual well woman exam and she asked me if I had made an appointment to see the RE. I told her I had already met him and his plan of action. Probably the best thing that happened and why I love my OBGYN was that she gave me this look that said, "ARE YOU SERIOUS? THAT'S WHAT HE SAID?"

She asked if I had told him about the thin uterine lining and estrogen stuff and I had. So I asked her if we could just proceed with her office, and instead of Femara, try Clomid, and see how that goes. I told her the same thing I told my mom, and practical standpoint of it just being less expensive to work with her office for now.

So that's where we're at. Next cycle I'll start with Clomid on Day 3. We'll see what that does.

We start Femara

Or should I say, I start Femara.

It's a little nudge to perk up the ovaries. Femara is supposed to tell the ovaries to mature some eggs so that I can ovulate and maybe put a bun in the oven.

At least that's the hope.

My doctor says it's little easier on the ovaries than Clomid, which is the usual go to drug.

I've never been so conscious of my monthly cycles as I have been since actively trying to conceive.

Thank goodness for apps like Glow and My Days. Otherwise, I'd totally lose track and would start making up dates to give to my doctor.

That would be bad.

Then on Day 21 I have to go in for a blood test to see if I ovulated.

Yay, I love being stuck with needles.

Actually I don't, but since it's for a good cause and all.

We'll see how this goes.

It's official...

...I was diagnosed with PCOS.

Dude, PCOS sucks. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome sucks.

It has all the least desirable symptoms as a woman and there's no cure. It's just "manageable." Great. Awesome. Wonderful.

My least favorite symptom is "trouble losing weight" because what woman wants it to be extra challenging to lose the extra pounds.

While my doctor suggested about a year ago that I had PCOS, after a conversation with my sister-in-law (my brother-in-law's wife), who was told that she'd never have kids and is now about to pop one out, she suggested that I have an ultrasound to officially check for cysts. She was told she had PCOS, but when they checked for cysts she didn't have any.

Here's my tip for anyone who needs to have a sonogram or ultrasound done vaginally....GO TO THE BATHROOM FIRST. I wish someone had told me that. I went in for my appointment and they sent me into the ultrasound room where they told me to disrobe from the waist down and then use the pink paper drape. Then they inserted the ultrasound wand.

Ultrasound wands and full bladders DO NOT MIX.

The ultrasound tech even remarked "Wow, your bladder is full."

All I could think was, "YEAH NO KIDDING YOU'RE PRESSING ON IT AND IT'S NOT HELPING."

So, if you have a vaginal ultrasound on deck, be sure to evacuate your bladder first.

Unfortunately, they did find cysts on my ovaries.

AWESOME. YAY. WOO HOO.

Said no one ever.

Now that we're officially trying, it just adds to the pot of complication.

But I'm not going to let this get me down!