Natural Healing and All Things Woo-Woo

In our quest to get pregnant, I've been researching all kinds of things. And while I know it's more common to go the Western route and find a good reproductive endocrinologist (RE), there's just something about all the drugs and chemicals that makes me wary.

My period tracking app, Glow, tells me that I should get my next period on October 2. This has me thinking about several things. First, what if the Ovidrel and Clomid works and we get pregnant?! Second, what if the Ovidrel and Clomid didn't work, and yet another month "wasted". Third, what can I be doing to help myself that doesn't involve medication? Fourth, could this nutrition testing thing really work?

The "What-If's" are killer. I know I shouldn't dwell in them. It'll make me crazy.

So, I don't even know the actual "correct" term of the appointments I'm going to. But it's through my chiropractors office and they call it "Nutrition". I think the tech is a naturopath, trained in nutrition testing. Basically, she checks my nervous system for pulses and can find my deficiencies and areas that need supplementation.

Yeah, it looks and seems totally woo-woo.

I'm like, I could totally fake that. How do I know what she's doing is even real? How does she "feel" these things? It's really weird. But every time that I see her, and she gives me a new supplement, I Google it, and it seems to line up. On my first visit, she asked me if I ever had trouble with my thyroid. And I know that I'm probably a good candidate for hypothyroidism, but it's never come up with my doctor.

Anyway, I take so many supplements these days it's comical. I take Advocare's MNS 3 packets. I also take a whole host of different whole food supplements from my chiropractor. On top of that I have my Metformin prescription for the PCOS and prenatal vitamins. I imagine I have some really expensive pee.

Too far?

And then this cycle we did the Clomid and Ovidrel. Gosh, this waiting period is long, yet short. It's one of those situations where I just want to know! So that I can move to the next step, depending on what that is. I know that I shouldn't live in anticipation of what's next, but rather savor where I am now. I do. I try not to think about it too much, but when I walk my dog in the mornings, it's thoughts like this that tend to consume me.

I'm also wondering if at the end of the 12 nutrition appointments, if I should continue. It's OF COURSE not covered by insurance, so it's all out of pocket, and with the number of supplements I'm taking on a daily basis, it adds up quickly.

Thanks to good ol' Google, you can find a lot of information, and I have been reading up on Natural Fertility Info, and I think that may be next (if the Ovidrel didn't do it's thing). I've been reading about Femaprin and Maca Root, Vitex, Royal Jelly, and Evening Primrose Oil.

I told my husband that if we don't get pregnant, that I'd like to give the prescriptions a rest for the remainder of the year. Trying to get pregnant is hard work! (Yes, that's funny depending how you read it.) It's also way more difficult for us who have conditions like PCOS. Oh and I just learned that September is PCOS Awareness Month. If you want a comprehensive rundown of PCOS, check out Chelsea's post here.

I know it's in this period of waiting that I need to hold tight to my faith. And that's always the hardest time to do that. I know that He is able to exceed beyond what we could ever ask for or imagine. So I do, I hold tight to His promises and His will, especially during this time of waiting.

Adventures in Fertility

Dealing with infertility has been a roller coaster journey. There are ups and downs and days when you feel completely filled with hope and other days when you feel completely depleted. And it feels like a lonely journey because not many people talk about it. Or they talk about it after they've made it to the other side - after they successfully get pregnant.

It's crazy to me that the one thing I had avoided for several years is now the thing that I want so badly. It makes me wonder if being on birth control previously was even worth it. Well, due to the PCOS, I think it was a necessary evil.

Last cycle (August), we did a round of Clomid and I matured some follicles. Yay! However, my uterine lining was not thick enough. AGAIN. Womp womp. When stuff like this happens, besides feeling disappointed, I also feel like a month of my life was wasted and so was that money for the fertility drugs. Yet another month not pregnant. I know that's not really reality, but that's what it feels like.

This cycle, we did another round of Clomid, this time with Estradiol suppositories. Yeah, suppositories. It's about as glamorous as it sounds. Not at all. It's weird and awkward and there are side effects. Like hot flashes. (I'm too young for those!) The suppositories are supposed to help with the lining to thicken up. I had to go to a special compounding pharmacy to pick those bad boys up. For five days, starting on Day 3, I was taking the Clomid (100mg) and inserting the estrogen suppositories before bedtime.

On Day 11, I went back to my OBGYN for an ultrasound to see how the fertility drugs had worked. Well, I matured another two follicles. However, that lining? That lining is stubborn and did not take to the suppositories like it was supposed to. But since we've been working on getting me pregnant for months now, my OBGYN decided to make the executive decision to go for it anyway and trigger ovulation with the handy dandy pre-filled syringe - Ovidrel as well as some oral Estradiol tablets.

My doctor showed me how to pinch my stomach and administer the shot. It's a good thing I'm not scared of needles. She ordered the prescription and I gathered my courage for this next step.

I went to our local Walgreens to pick everything up, except it turns out that they don't have the Ovidrel in stock. So I asked if they could find it because it was important that I take it the next day. After waiting in the Walgreens sitting area for almost 45 minutes, the pharmacist was able to track down a syringe of the stuff about 30 minutes away. Considering that I didn't have much of a choice, we drove out there. Oh by the way, that was not a cheap prescription...since it's not covered by insurance. (Apparently I need to move to Massachusetts where good insurance exists!)

The next day, Day 12, we did the trigger shot. I asked my husband to hold my skin for me as I gave myself the shot. And it wasn't bad at all. The needle is so skinny that it pretty much just slides under the skin and you kind of feel a small pinch when you inject the fluid, but it was no big deal especially in comparison to say a blood draw or giving blood. The needle was way smaller.

And then, as they say on pregnancy forums, there was required BD time. It took some Googling to figure out that stands for "Baby Dance"...I'm so not current on pregnancy acronyms. It's slightly unnerving when you have to BD at a certain and time, but at least it's fun.

And now we wait. We wait to see if AF (Aunt Flo, more acronyms!) comes in two weeks. Even then if AF doesn't come, I feel like I need to wait at least another week in case it's off by a few days.

I'm feeling hopeful, but at the same time I don't want to get my hopes up too high, because the disappointment is going to be big.

The waiting feels like torture. Because I want to think about it. I want to make scenarios of "what ifs" and such. I obviously want it to be positive. Want more acronyms? I want a BFP (big fat positive).

(Side note: I've never participated in online pregnancy forums, partially because half the time I can't read what they are saying because of all the darn acronyms - I do see how they are handy though.)

Are you going through infertility? What is your story?

It's starting to get real.

A couple weeks ago, I was talking to my friend about how we're starting to talk about starting a family. She asked me when we were thinking about starting and I said, "About the new year."

Then she asked me if I was taking prenatal vitamins.

Uh. Not yet.

She told me that I should start taking them at least three months before.

"What?! You mean, I'm already behind?!"

When I thought about the fact that we'd stop preventing pregnancy at the new year, which is now in just a few short weeks, it got real. It got real, really fast.

Then I started to Google things and WebMD things, because obviously, I don't know much about this stuff! And my friend was right, I should start taking prenatal vitamins!

So we went to pick up a bottle.

And again, things got real. Whoa. We're really going to do this.