I, for one, cannot believe that it's already July.
This marks the official halfway point of the year. It's an understatement to say this year has flown by for me.
It's been an interesting year, for sure.
At the end of last year I left my terrible full-time job. Honestly, I could have stayed, but it was a toxic environment and I just couldn't take it for my own sanity. My boss was not cut out to ever be a boss, and that's tough when he is the owner of the company too. Our work ethics just did not align. And maybe I just needed to put my head down, focus, and work.
But sometimes, all that stress, aggravation, discontent is just not worth the paycheck.
I thought I had a miserable job before, but this one definitely takes the crown and glory for worst job ever. It probably would have been better for me if I could relate on a cultural level. But I'm not making excuses for that place anymore.
I'm convinced that we were not able to get pregnant while I was working there because of the stress. Hormonal issues too, but I think the stress played a huge part of it. I almost tried to go on stress leave. Get a note from a doctor to take a couple weeks off. Seriously. Makes me crazy thinking about it.
After leaving that job, I decided to focus 100% of my time on my portrait photography business. I'm a high school senior photographer, specializing in portraits for smart, shy girls. And you know what? I'm haven't replaced my previous income with it yet, although I'm getting closer, but I'm 100% happier than when I was working at what I lovingly refer to as "The Sweat Shop" (not too far from the truth, haha).
So here we are. 6 months into 2015. Starting the 7th month.
Still nothing yet as far as knowing if we put a bun in the over or not. Which is good so far. I'm counting my blessings instead of stressing out over it.
Although, yeah, I'm a little stressed. But I know that's bad, so I'm going to go do some deep breathing.
I'm planning to take a test this weekend. I go to my OBGYN on Tuesday for my annual well woman exam, so hopefully my doc will be able to tell me what to expect....either way.
Showing posts with label estradiol. Show all posts
Showing posts with label estradiol. Show all posts
Day 28: Still Waiting
Yesterday marked Day 28 of this cycle.
It's crazy how aware you become of what day it is when you're keeping track of your cycles.
To most people that probably means nothing.
To a woman who is trying to conceive (TTC) or struggling with infertility it means a whole lot more.
So technically speaking the two week wait is over. I could theoretically take a pregnancy test if I wanted to.
AF did not arrive yesterday, so that's definitely a good sign.
Yet, I don't want to put all my hopeful eggs in one basket, if that metaphor makes sense.
Logically, I know I should at least wait until when my period is due and wait for that to be officially "late". And then I should probably wait another seven days after that.
Such a waiting game.
And I don't want to freak out or stress out about this because I know that's not good either. Maybe I'll go meditate. My favorite part of meditation? Falling asleep in corpse pose...that's what it's called, right yoga aficionados?
Well, we bought a set of pregnancy tests this weekend, but I'm definitely waiting to test because in the words of my pragmatic brain, I don't want to "waste" them. But it's true.
I know that I could purchase cheapie tests on Amazon, but again, I don't want to be wasteful...and let's face it, I also don't want to know the answer yet.
I do.
But I don't.
And I know that it won't be the end of the world if we are not pregnant this cycle. Just another month ahead of waiting and seeking.
On the other hand, I might go out of my mind if it is positive.
I'm trying not to wrap up my emotions in the outcome of the test. Clearly, I'm not doing that great of a job.
I will be fine either way (one more fine than the other, obviously). I trust the plan that is being carved out for us. I trust the big guy upstairs. Although, I'll admit, it's a constant reminder to myself that it's his timing, not my own. His plans, not my own. It's not easy.
I'm also really excited. Cautiously so, of course. And on the same note, I'm also really nervous.
So maybe I should get back to that idea of meditation to clear my fears and worries and focus on the positive.
And of course, the other logical thing is that I could just find out now...theoretically. I could test and just see what happens. But I decided that I would at least wait until AF is projected to arrive, which is Friday, July 3.
Considering that my cycles for the majority of 2014 and early 2015 have been about 31-33 days, I think it makes sense to wait at least until then to see what happens.
This journey is so crazy. I'm sure it's worth it, but gosh, the emotional roller coaster is not for the faint of heart.
It's crazy how aware you become of what day it is when you're keeping track of your cycles.
To most people that probably means nothing.
To a woman who is trying to conceive (TTC) or struggling with infertility it means a whole lot more.
So technically speaking the two week wait is over. I could theoretically take a pregnancy test if I wanted to.
AF did not arrive yesterday, so that's definitely a good sign.
Yet, I don't want to put all my hopeful eggs in one basket, if that metaphor makes sense.
Logically, I know I should at least wait until when my period is due and wait for that to be officially "late". And then I should probably wait another seven days after that.
Such a waiting game.
And I don't want to freak out or stress out about this because I know that's not good either. Maybe I'll go meditate. My favorite part of meditation? Falling asleep in corpse pose...that's what it's called, right yoga aficionados?
Well, we bought a set of pregnancy tests this weekend, but I'm definitely waiting to test because in the words of my pragmatic brain, I don't want to "waste" them. But it's true.
I know that I could purchase cheapie tests on Amazon, but again, I don't want to be wasteful...and let's face it, I also don't want to know the answer yet.
I do.
But I don't.
And I know that it won't be the end of the world if we are not pregnant this cycle. Just another month ahead of waiting and seeking.
On the other hand, I might go out of my mind if it is positive.
I'm trying not to wrap up my emotions in the outcome of the test. Clearly, I'm not doing that great of a job.
I will be fine either way (one more fine than the other, obviously). I trust the plan that is being carved out for us. I trust the big guy upstairs. Although, I'll admit, it's a constant reminder to myself that it's his timing, not my own. His plans, not my own. It's not easy.
I'm also really excited. Cautiously so, of course. And on the same note, I'm also really nervous.
So maybe I should get back to that idea of meditation to clear my fears and worries and focus on the positive.
And of course, the other logical thing is that I could just find out now...theoretically. I could test and just see what happens. But I decided that I would at least wait until AF is projected to arrive, which is Friday, July 3.
Considering that my cycles for the majority of 2014 and early 2015 have been about 31-33 days, I think it makes sense to wait at least until then to see what happens.
This journey is so crazy. I'm sure it's worth it, but gosh, the emotional roller coaster is not for the faint of heart.
Day 14: Ovidrel Injection
I went to my Ultrasound appointment and my doctor decided to proceed with the Ovidrel injection to be administered on Day 14, which was yesterday.
Sometimes, this journey just drives me crazy due to the lack of empathy of some people.
So what had happened was...
My doctor prescribed the Ovidrel to induce ovulation.
I visit my local pharmacy, Walgreens, to see if they can fulfill the prescription.
They tell me that they don't keep it in stock, but if I can find a Walgreens that has it in stock, then they can access my prescription through their system.
I call a couple of different Walgreens and they don't have it in stock. They would have to special order it and it would not be available until at least Monday because it usually takes a business day for it to come in. And it was Friday.
So I called my Doctor's office to tell them of my situation. And man, I'm not sure if I spoke to a nurse or a medical assistant (but I'm leaning towards medical assistant) and wow, she did not listen very well.
To make a long story short, about four phone calls later, they finally got their butts in gear and found somewhere I could pick up the Ovidrel. While I was super annoyed at first, I was thankful that they were able to help me eventually.
While stabbing yourself in the stomach isn't the most fun activity, it actually wasn't too bad. I had my husband pinch my skin and I injected the syringe. It didn't even hurt. Just a little prick.
So now we wait. Well, you know, get busy and wait. The injection point doesn't hurt at all, which I'm thankful for. I do also have to use Estradiol suppositories, joy.
I've decided that instead of lamenting over the infertility we've been going through, I'm going to focus on the possibility. I am able to get pregnant. I release the need to control when I get pregnant and I know that I will be pregnant when the time is right.
Yes, those are positive affirmations. And even if I sound silly, I want to focus on what I want instead of what I don't have. I want to spread gratitude. I want to spread abundance.
We'll see!
Day 12: Ultrasound Day
After finally going back to my OBGYN after about a 6 month break from fertility medications, taking a course of Clomid and estrogen supplements, today is the day. Today I will have an ultrasound to see if Clomid worked and if it's viable to trigger ovulation.
The biggest things I struggle with is the probability. Even if the Clomid stimulated follicles to mature and the estrogen supplements helped to thicken the uterine lining, that doesn't guarantee anything.
It's definitely a journey of both science and faith.
Which makes it really difficult to see all the people who it "just happens" for. Because really, there are a whole lot of people out there who it doesn't just "happen" for.
And I know that by comparing myself to other women, I'm only going to drive myself bananas. It's something that I struggle with on the daily and every time I see an announcement, I feel like it's another dig of what I haven't been able to do yet.
I also know that I need to stay faithful. To believe that it is possible. To know that we can become parents someday.
It's truly like fighting an enemy daily to tell him to shut up and go away.
The doubt.
The fear.
The negative, fatalistic thinking.
I have to be positive and go in with the best attitude.
In the last six months, I have lost 15lbs (which I'm hoping helps with the PCOS symptoms) and I'm exercising 5 days a week and eating a generally clean diet. It's hard to know what else I could be doing more of or better at, without making crazy drastic changes (what else is there left to do?)
All in all, I'm excited to go back to the doctor's office today to at least see what's next and what lies ahead. I want to be positive even if the outcome isn't what I'm hoping for. That's the hardest part, and yet the key....
Day 5: Clomid
I just finished a course of Clomid for 5 days at 150mg per day. I was slightly worried that I was going to be crazy on that dose, but luckily, I felt totally normal. I know there are other ladies who take Clomid and have crazy side effects. I'm thankful that was not the case.
In addition to the Clomid, I also did Estradiol suppositories for five days. How fun right? (Said no one ever.) I'm thinking the last time I had to do the suppositories, I must have not inserted them correctly (sorry for TMI), and I'm hoping that I did a better job this time.
I'll go in on Friday for an ultrasound to see how the Clomid did it's magic and if my uterine lining is thick enough for implantation.
The annoying thing about Clomid is that it's anti-estrogenic, and actually works against the uterine lining, thus the need for estrogen supplements.
I'm feeling more hopeful this time, but also, I don't want to get my hopes up too high. It's still early in the cycle so it could go either way...if only science were a guarantee. But if it were that simple, there wouldn't be such a desire or yearning for those who have trouble conceiving.
In addition to the Clomid, I also did Estradiol suppositories for five days. How fun right? (Said no one ever.) I'm thinking the last time I had to do the suppositories, I must have not inserted them correctly (sorry for TMI), and I'm hoping that I did a better job this time.
I'll go in on Friday for an ultrasound to see how the Clomid did it's magic and if my uterine lining is thick enough for implantation.
The annoying thing about Clomid is that it's anti-estrogenic, and actually works against the uterine lining, thus the need for estrogen supplements.
I'm feeling more hopeful this time, but also, I don't want to get my hopes up too high. It's still early in the cycle so it could go either way...if only science were a guarantee. But if it were that simple, there wouldn't be such a desire or yearning for those who have trouble conceiving.
Day 1: Clomid
After a bit of time off from infertility treatments and drugs, we decided to give Clomid another go. I'm not exactly sure what we'll do after this, but we'll see.
The difference in myself between last time and this time is that now I feel a lot more informed and educated about it. I've done a lot of research on my own so that I can know what I'm putting into my body. While it kind of freaks me out to think that I'm totally messing with my already messed up hormones, at least I know what's happening...without having a doctor's degree.
My hesitation with fertility treatments has definitely been the money factor and lack of success. Like, it really feels like a total waste of money (literally) flushed down the drain when you don't get your desired result. Am I right?
But I know that I can't look at it that way. At least we are doing something. We are taking some action. I feel like this whole endeavor definitely takes one part science and fifty parts faith. So much faith and trust in the unknown and what is to come.
I try and try and try to figure it out on my own, but I know ultimately that it's all in God's hands as to whether or not we get pregnant. As someone who is a control freak (mildly, haha), it's so hard to wrap my brain around that. I could probably do a thousand "right" or "correct" things, but none of that will guarantee anything.
So anyway, we've been on a drug break since October. So about six or seven months have gone by and no baby by our own efforts alone. I went back to see my OBGYN and she put me on another course of Clomid, at a higher dose 150mg/day for 5 days. There's also a little supplementation of estradiol suppositories (joy!) since Clomid is anti-estrogenic...how does that even work out.
Next Friday, I'll go back to the doctor's office for an ultrasound to see how Clomid worked and if I have a viable lining.
While I haven't conquered PCOS completely, I do believe that through my exercise and nutrition efforts, and losing about 15lbs since October, has helped overall. My cycles are irregular, but pretty consistent at 32 days. However, I had two cycles, one that lasted 40 days and one that lasted 45 days. Those were cycles when I got hopeful. I was holding out so hard on going to buy a pregnancy test. And just when I got to the point of deciding to go get one, my period showed up.
So we'll see how this goes. I hope the Clomid doesn't make me too crazy, for my husband's sake!
The difference in myself between last time and this time is that now I feel a lot more informed and educated about it. I've done a lot of research on my own so that I can know what I'm putting into my body. While it kind of freaks me out to think that I'm totally messing with my already messed up hormones, at least I know what's happening...without having a doctor's degree.
My hesitation with fertility treatments has definitely been the money factor and lack of success. Like, it really feels like a total waste of money (literally) flushed down the drain when you don't get your desired result. Am I right?
But I know that I can't look at it that way. At least we are doing something. We are taking some action. I feel like this whole endeavor definitely takes one part science and fifty parts faith. So much faith and trust in the unknown and what is to come.
I try and try and try to figure it out on my own, but I know ultimately that it's all in God's hands as to whether or not we get pregnant. As someone who is a control freak (mildly, haha), it's so hard to wrap my brain around that. I could probably do a thousand "right" or "correct" things, but none of that will guarantee anything.
So anyway, we've been on a drug break since October. So about six or seven months have gone by and no baby by our own efforts alone. I went back to see my OBGYN and she put me on another course of Clomid, at a higher dose 150mg/day for 5 days. There's also a little supplementation of estradiol suppositories (joy!) since Clomid is anti-estrogenic...how does that even work out.
Next Friday, I'll go back to the doctor's office for an ultrasound to see how Clomid worked and if I have a viable lining.
While I haven't conquered PCOS completely, I do believe that through my exercise and nutrition efforts, and losing about 15lbs since October, has helped overall. My cycles are irregular, but pretty consistent at 32 days. However, I had two cycles, one that lasted 40 days and one that lasted 45 days. Those were cycles when I got hopeful. I was holding out so hard on going to buy a pregnancy test. And just when I got to the point of deciding to go get one, my period showed up.
So we'll see how this goes. I hope the Clomid doesn't make me too crazy, for my husband's sake!
Dear Aunt Flo...
Why must you show up at the most inopportune moments? Seriously.
My period tracker app, Glow, estimated that my period should start on October 2. Then, unbeknownst to me, on September 30th there seems to be some spotting (sorry if it's TMI). When I noticed, I start Googling, and I try to convince myself that maybe it's implantation bleeding. The only thing is that the dates don't line up for it to be that.
I try to talk myself out of the idea that it's my period coming. Because that means the Ovidrel didn't work. Because it means that I stabbed myself in the stomach for seemingly nothing. Because it means that I wasted precious dollars on a dream deferred.
Alas, we are not pregnant. And AF came early. So instead of 28 days, it was 27. How rude is that? Especially when last month it was 31 days. Hey, body, get it together.
Seeing as how we're not pregnant, I'm giving the chemicals and drugs a rest. It was actually kind of weird to not start taking something on Day 3. It was a good feeling, strangely enough. I'm okay with it. I trust God and what he has planned for us, and it's this whole trying to get pregnant thing has me clinging to him. Trusting him. No matter what.
So what's next?
Well, in my never-ending research for resolving my PCOS and infertility, from supplements and superfoods, and vitamins and green smoothies, I started to look into Essential Oils. I have a handful of friends who swear by their oils for various uses, mostly for allergies, immunity, germs, and stress. Stuff started popping up in my Facebook feed more and more that I just had to check it out.
I'm a fairly skeptical person, and while I don't have any idea if Essential Oils will work for me or not, I'm thinking that at least it's all natural. It's not more chemicals and these oils have been shown to balance hormones (which is my main problem!) and help manage a whole bunch (too numerous to list) of ailments and issues.
After a lot of Googling and searching through blogs on Essential Oils, I found a few articles that specifically talked about PCOS and infertility. If figure that I can give it a whirl. Why not? It seems like a better choice than more Clomid and freaking my ovaries out and messing with natural hormones like estrogen and progesterone. I believe that I have estrogen-dominance and progesterone deficiency.
Fertility & PCOS:
Balanced Essentials
Essential Oils & Supplements for Male and Female Fertility
3 Essential Oils that Enhance Fertility
Essential Oils and Fertility
Female Infertility & Essential Oils
Increase Fertility with Essential Oils
Aromatherapy for Fertility
Ocotea Essential Oil
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
So I think that I'm going to take the plunge. Take the plunge into Essential Oils. Since I have a bunch of friends using Young Living, that's the route I've decided to go.
I'm looking forward to trying something new and healing myself naturally!
My period tracker app, Glow, estimated that my period should start on October 2. Then, unbeknownst to me, on September 30th there seems to be some spotting (sorry if it's TMI). When I noticed, I start Googling, and I try to convince myself that maybe it's implantation bleeding. The only thing is that the dates don't line up for it to be that.
I try to talk myself out of the idea that it's my period coming. Because that means the Ovidrel didn't work. Because it means that I stabbed myself in the stomach for seemingly nothing. Because it means that I wasted precious dollars on a dream deferred.
Alas, we are not pregnant. And AF came early. So instead of 28 days, it was 27. How rude is that? Especially when last month it was 31 days. Hey, body, get it together.
Seeing as how we're not pregnant, I'm giving the chemicals and drugs a rest. It was actually kind of weird to not start taking something on Day 3. It was a good feeling, strangely enough. I'm okay with it. I trust God and what he has planned for us, and it's this whole trying to get pregnant thing has me clinging to him. Trusting him. No matter what.
So what's next?
Well, in my never-ending research for resolving my PCOS and infertility, from supplements and superfoods, and vitamins and green smoothies, I started to look into Essential Oils. I have a handful of friends who swear by their oils for various uses, mostly for allergies, immunity, germs, and stress. Stuff started popping up in my Facebook feed more and more that I just had to check it out.
I'm a fairly skeptical person, and while I don't have any idea if Essential Oils will work for me or not, I'm thinking that at least it's all natural. It's not more chemicals and these oils have been shown to balance hormones (which is my main problem!) and help manage a whole bunch (too numerous to list) of ailments and issues.
After a lot of Googling and searching through blogs on Essential Oils, I found a few articles that specifically talked about PCOS and infertility. If figure that I can give it a whirl. Why not? It seems like a better choice than more Clomid and freaking my ovaries out and messing with natural hormones like estrogen and progesterone. I believe that I have estrogen-dominance and progesterone deficiency.
Fertility & PCOS:
Balanced Essentials
Essential Oils & Supplements for Male and Female Fertility
3 Essential Oils that Enhance Fertility
Essential Oils and Fertility
Female Infertility & Essential Oils
Increase Fertility with Essential Oils
Aromatherapy for Fertility
Ocotea Essential Oil
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
So I think that I'm going to take the plunge. Take the plunge into Essential Oils. Since I have a bunch of friends using Young Living, that's the route I've decided to go.
I'm looking forward to trying something new and healing myself naturally!
Adventures in Fertility
Dealing with infertility has been a roller coaster journey. There are ups and downs and days when you feel completely filled with hope and other days when you feel completely depleted. And it feels like a lonely journey because not many people talk about it. Or they talk about it after they've made it to the other side - after they successfully get pregnant.
It's crazy to me that the one thing I had avoided for several years is now the thing that I want so badly. It makes me wonder if being on birth control previously was even worth it. Well, due to the PCOS, I think it was a necessary evil.
Last cycle (August), we did a round of Clomid and I matured some follicles. Yay! However, my uterine lining was not thick enough. AGAIN. Womp womp. When stuff like this happens, besides feeling disappointed, I also feel like a month of my life was wasted and so was that money for the fertility drugs. Yet another month not pregnant. I know that's not really reality, but that's what it feels like.
This cycle, we did another round of Clomid, this time with Estradiol suppositories. Yeah, suppositories. It's about as glamorous as it sounds. Not at all. It's weird and awkward and there are side effects. Like hot flashes. (I'm too young for those!) The suppositories are supposed to help with the lining to thicken up. I had to go to a special compounding pharmacy to pick those bad boys up. For five days, starting on Day 3, I was taking the Clomid (100mg) and inserting the estrogen suppositories before bedtime.
On Day 11, I went back to my OBGYN for an ultrasound to see how the fertility drugs had worked. Well, I matured another two follicles. However, that lining? That lining is stubborn and did not take to the suppositories like it was supposed to. But since we've been working on getting me pregnant for months now, my OBGYN decided to make the executive decision to go for it anyway and trigger ovulation with the handy dandy pre-filled syringe - Ovidrel as well as some oral Estradiol tablets.
My doctor showed me how to pinch my stomach and administer the shot. It's a good thing I'm not scared of needles. She ordered the prescription and I gathered my courage for this next step.
I went to our local Walgreens to pick everything up, except it turns out that they don't have the Ovidrel in stock. So I asked if they could find it because it was important that I take it the next day. After waiting in the Walgreens sitting area for almost 45 minutes, the pharmacist was able to track down a syringe of the stuff about 30 minutes away. Considering that I didn't have much of a choice, we drove out there. Oh by the way, that was not a cheap prescription...since it's not covered by insurance. (Apparently I need to move to Massachusetts where good insurance exists!)
The next day, Day 12, we did the trigger shot. I asked my husband to hold my skin for me as I gave myself the shot. And it wasn't bad at all. The needle is so skinny that it pretty much just slides under the skin and you kind of feel a small pinch when you inject the fluid, but it was no big deal especially in comparison to say a blood draw or giving blood. The needle was way smaller.
And then, as they say on pregnancy forums, there was required BD time. It took some Googling to figure out that stands for "Baby Dance"...I'm so not current on pregnancy acronyms. It's slightly unnerving when you have to BD at a certain and time, but at least it's fun.
And now we wait. We wait to see if AF (Aunt Flo, more acronyms!) comes in two weeks. Even then if AF doesn't come, I feel like I need to wait at least another week in case it's off by a few days.
I'm feeling hopeful, but at the same time I don't want to get my hopes up too high, because the disappointment is going to be big.
The waiting feels like torture. Because I want to think about it. I want to make scenarios of "what ifs" and such. I obviously want it to be positive. Want more acronyms? I want a BFP (big fat positive).
(Side note: I've never participated in online pregnancy forums, partially because half the time I can't read what they are saying because of all the darn acronyms - I do see how they are handy though.)
Are you going through infertility? What is your story?
It's crazy to me that the one thing I had avoided for several years is now the thing that I want so badly. It makes me wonder if being on birth control previously was even worth it. Well, due to the PCOS, I think it was a necessary evil.
Last cycle (August), we did a round of Clomid and I matured some follicles. Yay! However, my uterine lining was not thick enough. AGAIN. Womp womp. When stuff like this happens, besides feeling disappointed, I also feel like a month of my life was wasted and so was that money for the fertility drugs. Yet another month not pregnant. I know that's not really reality, but that's what it feels like.
This cycle, we did another round of Clomid, this time with Estradiol suppositories. Yeah, suppositories. It's about as glamorous as it sounds. Not at all. It's weird and awkward and there are side effects. Like hot flashes. (I'm too young for those!) The suppositories are supposed to help with the lining to thicken up. I had to go to a special compounding pharmacy to pick those bad boys up. For five days, starting on Day 3, I was taking the Clomid (100mg) and inserting the estrogen suppositories before bedtime.
On Day 11, I went back to my OBGYN for an ultrasound to see how the fertility drugs had worked. Well, I matured another two follicles. However, that lining? That lining is stubborn and did not take to the suppositories like it was supposed to. But since we've been working on getting me pregnant for months now, my OBGYN decided to make the executive decision to go for it anyway and trigger ovulation with the handy dandy pre-filled syringe - Ovidrel as well as some oral Estradiol tablets.
My doctor showed me how to pinch my stomach and administer the shot. It's a good thing I'm not scared of needles. She ordered the prescription and I gathered my courage for this next step.
I went to our local Walgreens to pick everything up, except it turns out that they don't have the Ovidrel in stock. So I asked if they could find it because it was important that I take it the next day. After waiting in the Walgreens sitting area for almost 45 minutes, the pharmacist was able to track down a syringe of the stuff about 30 minutes away. Considering that I didn't have much of a choice, we drove out there. Oh by the way, that was not a cheap prescription...since it's not covered by insurance. (Apparently I need to move to Massachusetts where good insurance exists!)
The next day, Day 12, we did the trigger shot. I asked my husband to hold my skin for me as I gave myself the shot. And it wasn't bad at all. The needle is so skinny that it pretty much just slides under the skin and you kind of feel a small pinch when you inject the fluid, but it was no big deal especially in comparison to say a blood draw or giving blood. The needle was way smaller.
And then, as they say on pregnancy forums, there was required BD time. It took some Googling to figure out that stands for "Baby Dance"...I'm so not current on pregnancy acronyms. It's slightly unnerving when you have to BD at a certain and time, but at least it's fun.
And now we wait. We wait to see if AF (Aunt Flo, more acronyms!) comes in two weeks. Even then if AF doesn't come, I feel like I need to wait at least another week in case it's off by a few days.
I'm feeling hopeful, but at the same time I don't want to get my hopes up too high, because the disappointment is going to be big.
The waiting feels like torture. Because I want to think about it. I want to make scenarios of "what ifs" and such. I obviously want it to be positive. Want more acronyms? I want a BFP (big fat positive).
(Side note: I've never participated in online pregnancy forums, partially because half the time I can't read what they are saying because of all the darn acronyms - I do see how they are handy though.)
Are you going through infertility? What is your story?
