Jealousy vs. Joy

No one really talks about it.

No one wants to admit that they struggle with it.

No one wants to show they true colors when it comes to the color green.

But I'll admit it.

I'm jealous.

I'm jealous of all the pregnant women I see. I know that deep down I'm happy for them, but the first thing I feel, especially lately is jealousy. Envy. I covet what they have.

I know that Envy is one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

And it is for a reason.

Envy eats at you. It makes you unhappy. It causes a pit to form in your stomach. It's not a good feeling.

But I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel jealous.

Infertility is a lonely road.

No thanks to that chap, Comparison.

It's so true that...

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

In moments when I feel like comparing where I am now to someone else's journey it's both unproductive and a major buzzkill.

It sucks to compare.

AND YET, IT'S SO EASY.

I think because it's easy to compare and to feel jealous, it's the go-to emotion.

You know what's hard?

Contentment.

Joy.

In a time that feels like you'll never get ahead, joy is the last thing you want to feel for someone else. Contentment feels like waving the white flag. But it's not.

Joy and contentment are way harder, but so much better for you.

I do my best to feel joy for my friends who are expecting.
I do my best to be content with where I am.

I know I'm not in control, as much as I would like to be in the driver's seat. It's in giving up that control that joy and contentment can take over, in a good way.