However, infertility has also proved to be a great blessing. How? If it wasn't for being on this journey through the waters of infertility, I would have never met the amazing community of ladies who are going through the same thing. We all belong to a club that we wish we weren't a part of, and each wait for the day when our membership is revoked. We can't wait to be kicked out of the club.
I don't think I've shared our own infertility journey, and if anything, it needs a little updating.
We got married in July 2009 and because we dated long distance for three years, we wanted to spend the first couple of years of marriage as a couple. We knew we wanted children, but we wanted to savor the time just the two of us.
In 2012, during my annual well woman exam at my OBGYN's office, I was officially diagnosed with PCOS - polycystic ovarian syndrome. I had the symptoms: trouble losing weight, craving carbs, unwanted facial hair, thinning hair, irregular periods... All "manageable" symptoms through nutrition and exercise, but annoying nonetheless. Since we were not yet trying to start a family, I continued on the pill to regulate my cycles.
In 2013, we were ready to start trying for a family. I came off the pill and knew that it could take a couple of months for my hormones to regulate. We made it to the end of 2013 with no success.
In 2014, after about a year of trying, we saw my OBGYN to try some medicated, timed intercourse cycles. We did Femara/Letrozole and also tried Clomid. I seemed to respond decently to the medication, but no pregnancies.
In June 2014, my OBGYN referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist - the office whose Letrozole and Clomid protocols she was following. I made the appointment and went to my first RE consultation.
I went to the consultation by myself and walked away overwhelmed and unimpressed. The doctor I met with didn't take any time to get any of my history (which I thought was important) and quickly launched into a standard protocol of Clomid and trigger shot.
At the time I wasn't as familiar with medicated cycle protocols as I am now, and I felt like the doctor was not listening to me. My OBGYN had suggested that I had a uterine lining issue (it was thinner than ideal), and told me to tell the RE. Well, he didn't even listen to that. I felt like I was wasting my time if he was just suggesting the same thing I had already done at my OBGYN's office.
I was annoyed. I didn't like that he didn't get to know me at all. I felt like a number and he was just giving me the standard plan of care. I felt like if I was going to have to pay out of pocket for this anyway, I needed to like my healthcare provider.
Needless to say, I did not return to his office ever again.
At the end of 2014, I did return to my OBGYN's office for two more medicated cycle attempts. When our final attempt had no progress, we decided to take a break from medicated cycles. Around the same time, I also started seeing the nutrition testing specialist through my chiropractor. We started supplementing what I was deficient in to help rebalance my hormones.
I continued to see the nutrition testing specialist through the beginning of 2015. I was a lot of vitamins and supplements, and I felt like if I could help my issues in a natural way, that would be great.
After about a six month break, I started to look into a new reproductive endocrinologist. There were a few top offices in our area that I found.
I had a couple important criteria I wanted in a doctor:
- female doctor
- experience with PCOS
- compassionate, empathetic, kind
While I know that male doctors are probably just as qualified as female doctors, I believe that female doctors understand these issues on a level that a man cannot. I feel way more comfortable with a female doctor and it helps when she can empathize (NOT sympathize) with me.
In July 2015, I made an appointment with an RE at a new practice. Based on her online profile, she seemed to fit most of my criteria. The personality component would be determined at our consultation.
Well, long story short, I LOVE our RE! She fits all the criteria and really appreciated that she spent about an hour with us going over our family histories, our personal medical histories, and personally did my first baseline ultrasound. I was impressed. She was kind and carefully reviewed our case to give us her honest suggested plan of care.
In August 2015, while waiting for my cycle to start before we could move forward with the plan of care with our RE, I was on cycle day 40...and I took a pregnancy test. It was positive! I had never seen a positive test before! Coincidentally, the RE's office called that same day to have me come in for routine bloodwork. I told them that I had a positive home pregnancy test and they said they'd do a beta Hcg test as well.
Later that day, it was confirmed that I was indeed pregnant, with an hCG level of over 9,000! (If you're new to beta numbers, that's super high! I didn't really know at the time how high that was). The following week, we went in for our first ultrasound and we got to see the gestational sacs...there were two! But only one looked to be growing. However...based on the date of my last period, it looked like the size was a little bit behind, so they had me come in the following week to check again.
The following week, there was no progress in growth. The doctor seemed to be cautiously optimistic about it, and had me come in the following week. She said that if there were no changes or heartbeat the next week, then we'd have to discuss options.
Well, in September 2015, I miscarried. Our baby stopped growing at about 5 weeks. We never got an accurate reading/measurement and never saw a heartbeat. I opted to take the medication to help move the miscarriage along after waiting two weeks to miscarry naturally. You can read about that here.
After the miscarriage, I had to wait for my cycle to return. My first period post-miscarriage was insanely heavy. Like...crazy heavy. The second cycle was a little bit more normal.
In November 2015 after my cycle started, I had my original testing done (that didn't happen because we took a detour with a positive pregnancy test), and that included an HSG and hysteroscopy. My doctor found a polyp during the hysteroscopy and my tubes were clear following the HSG. I experienced minimal pain with both, but I have a higher tolerance for pain.
In December 2015, I had a hysteroscopic polypectomy to remove the polyp. It was pretty easy. I was nervous about the anesthesia, but it turned out to be an amazing nap. I went home that morning and had another great nap. I felt pretty good the next day.
At the end of December, we tried a Letrozole cycle with trigger, except during my Day 12 soon, I had already ovulated.
We did a Letrozole + Ovidrel trigger at the end of January 2016.
In February 2016, we did Letrozole + Follistim + Ovidrel trigger + IUI.
In March 2016, when I went in for my baseline, they found a cyst lingering on my ovary, after having a super light period.
About two and a half weeks later when I thought my cycle started again, they saw the same cyst, but it was smaller. So I had to wait until it cleared.
My normal cycle started at the end of April 2016, however, because I was going to be out of town and unable to come in for monitoring, we have to wait until the next cycle.
I feel like waiting is the story of my life lately!
So here we are...waiting....waiting...waiting.
I'm a professional at waiting!
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