Our path has.
I remember when I first learned that it was going to be more complicated to start a family. I was overwhelmed. There was so much information and so little information. And if you don't know anyone who has gone through infertility, you can get lost quickly!
When my OBGYN referred me to a specialist, I was really nervous because I didn't completely understand the process. You'd think that biology and health classes in high school and college would explain it, but it's such a complicated process! When you're not actively trying to conceive, you kind of ignore the details...I know I did!
If you come to the place where you are ready to meet with a specialist, you must advocate for yourself. The first reproductive endocrinologist seemed to be in a hurry. There I was, nervous, didn't understand all the infertility/fertility terms or procedures, and here was this guy spewing all the tests that we had to do. He didn't take time to get to know me or my history. He launched directly into his standard protocol of treatment.
I was not comfortable with that.
I never went back.
Then I heard he left that practice.
When I was ready to dip my toe in the RE pool again, I did my research. I knew that I wanted to find a female doctor (if possible), and hopefully one who had experience treating women with PCOS. I wanted to find someone who would listen to my concerns, answer my questions, and get to know my husband and I a little bit before advising treatment.
After lots of research, I found our current RE, who is wonderful and everything that I could ask for in a reproductive endocrinologist. She has fantastic beside manner, is kind, empathetic, and explains everything in plain English. She is the best!
That experience taught me that if I had gone blindly with the other specialist...who knows where I would be. I know at the very least, I'd be a little disappointed in my care!
This journey is HARD. You must advocate for yourself. Ask questions. Find support.
When you're looking at spending thousands of dollars (with and without insurance!), you shouldn't have to just go to "anyone". If you have the ability to choose your doctor, do so. Even if it means you have to interview multiple specialists. You should feel 100% comfortable with your doctor!
Some facts about infertility, from Resolve.org
Infertility is defined as the inability to conceive for 12 months or to carry a pregnancy through a live birth
- 1 in 8 couples go through infertility. Yes, that means someone you know is currently going through it whether they are open about it or not.
- 1/3 of the diagnosis have to do with problems with the female, 1/3 is male and 1/3 are both
- Only 15 states have an insurance mandate to offer some form of insurance
Now onto the #StartAsking theme: What questions can you start asking?
- Ask your doctor about tests, diagnosis, medical procedures, and options
- Ask yourself what natural steps you can take to increase your fertility
- Ask your spouse where they stand on medical intervention, adoption, etc
- Ask your friends and family to support and pray for you
- Ask your insurance what coverage you have
- Ask your employer for better coverage for infertility
- Ask your spouse how they are doing
- Ask your friends who are going through infertility how they are doing
- Ask your church to acknowledge infertility
- Ask your congressmen for better coverage for infertility.
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