Starting Again

I never expected that we'd have to wait so long to get started trying again after the miscarriage. Now, having experienced one, I know so much more and have so much more empathy for all the women who have had one or multiple miscarriages.

Any miscarriage is heartbreaking.

I think it's because you have that glimmer of hope. If you had a positive pregnancy test, there's a special kind of exhilaration you experience when you've been trying for years for this one thing to finally happen.

And then it's all taken away.

In addition to the emotional toll that it takes, there's also a physical toll.

I experienced our miscarriage in September 2015.

My RE then told me to wait until my next two regular cycles.

My first cycle post-miscarriage was the heaviest, longest period I've ever experienced. It felt like a mini-miscarriage minus the cramps.

My second cycle post-miscarriage was still on the heavier than normal side (for me), but a lot more normal than that first cycle post-miscarriage.

So that brought us to November, at which point, my RE had us come in for the remainder of the testing that we never had done when we first met with her because I had a positive pregnancy test...all kinds of crazy.

I had a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) and a hysteroscopy.

The hysterosalpingogram is where they set you up underneath an x-ray machine, inject dye to see if your fallopian tubes are clear. For me, the experience was mostly painless - there was some pressure from injecting the dye, but my doctor talked me through it as she completed the procedure. I felt some cramping, but nothing major, and nothing in comparison to the miscarriage. I have heard from other women, however, who have said that when they had the HSG done, it was a very painful experience. I think it really depends on you, your doctor, and your pain threshold.

As far as the hysteroscopy, you're lying down on a exam table, and the doctor will insert a scope with a small/tiny camera to check out your insides. It takes all of about 2-3 minutes and it's similar pressure and I'd say less painful than the HSG. My doctor did find evidence of a polyp on the back wall of my uterus as well as the site of where implantation had occurred. They call it "products of conception."

Because of the polyp, my RE recommended to have it removed as she suspected that it could have contributed to the cause of the miscarriage. We'll never fully know, but for me, it makes me feel a little better knowing there was some kind of "reason" for it happening.

In December, at the start of my next cycle, I had the surgery. It was a hysteroscopic polypectomy, which is a fancy way of saying that the polyp was removed with a hysteroscope. Thankfully that meant that no incisions were made on me. I was put under general anesthesia for the first time ever, and while I was a little apprehensive about it, it was the best sleep that I can remember.

For me, the surgery was easy. I had surgery on Friday, napped most of Friday afternoon, and felt pretty back to normal by Saturday afternoon. I had to take a week off of exercise/activity until my post-op appointment, but otherwise, everything was back to normal.

So that brings us back to now. At my post-op appointment, my RE told me that the surgery was a success and that she removed the polyp and "products of conception". She asked me what we wanted to do and if we were ready to try again. I said that we were ready. I went in for a baseline ultrasound right before Christmas and started Letrozole. I had a Day 11 ultrasound and it looked like I had already ovulated. They drew blood for a progesterone test, and later that day confirmed that ovulation had occurred. At that point we just had to wait to see what the two week wait might present.

Two days before I expected my period, and on the day that the RE's nurse had told me I could take a HPT, my cycle started.

Sometimes I just want to tell my body to stop being so rude.

So I called my RE's office to let them know that my cycle started again, and I went back in for a baseline ultrasound this past Monday on Day 4. I started Letrozole on Day 4, and I'll go in for a follow up ultrasound on Day 8 - a few days earlier than typical with the hope that we don't miss the ovulation window...because the plan is to trigger ovulation with Ovidrel.

It was weird that I ovulated so early last cycle, but after asking in my support groups, it sounds like other ladies who also took Letrozole experienced some early ovulation as well.

So we'll see what happens this cycle.