About perseverance in the face of adversity.
About staying positive and moving forward.
Infertility messes you up.
Not just in the obvious sense of not being able to conceive easily, but mentally as well. It's
I'm pretty sure that after I experienced my miscarriage, I went into a state of depression. I'm thinking that it was on the milder side of things since I was still functioning, still able to get out of bed, and still able to do every day things. I did notice, however, that I didn't have the same drive or motivation to do things as I once did.
My dream of becoming a mother had finally come true, and on our own at that, and then just as quickly as we realized our dream, it was shattered. Into a million pieces.
I felt like I was in a million pieces.
Maybe I deal with grief more gracefully, or maybe I just lie to myself that I'm doing just fine.
Infertility infiltrates your life in a way that you might not even see coming. It lingers like that pimple that just won't go away or mosquito bite that just won't heal.
It seeps into your inner thoughts making you wonder why you should keep on believing or keep on trying. What's the point?
We're looking to possibly make a move and move into a bigger home in a better neighborhood for our future kids. The thoughts of, "What if we never have kids to fill this house?" creep into my head and make me question everything we're doing.
And that's not even addressing the stress that comes with everything it costs to go through and treat infertility. It's not cheap.
It's really upsetting that it is so simple (and inexpensive) to end a life through abortion, and yet it can be ridiculously cost-prohibitive for couples to start a family. I'm not trying to get in a debate about abortion, but I'd like to address the elephant in the room. I think that needs to be something politicians think about.
Every cycle that we go into, I start out ever so hopeful. Like, this could be it. This will be the cycle that gets us our baby. I follow the protocol, the injections, the pills, the medications.
We try to do everything we can to have the best outcome.
And then disappointment.
How do you hang onto hope when you face disappointment? I don't have a clear answer.
I try to turn to gratitude and find the things that I'm grateful for. But I'd be remiss if I said that I didn't also take some time to be sad about it.
I think the key to balancing hope and disappointment is to not remain in disappointment. To take it for what it is and continue moving forward.
How do you hold onto hope in the midst of disappointment?
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