Thoughts on the journey

In the last seven days, three women I know have announced their pregnancies. In the last two weeks, at least 4-5 Facebook friends have given birth.

So here's the tough thing. I don't know anything about their stories and how they got pregnant. Was it easy? Was it difficult? Did it require any medication or help?

One friend announced her pregnancy on Facebook, and for whatever emotional reason, it felt like a jab to my stomach. Which, when I think about it, is stupid, because it's not like she's expecting to spite me. It's not all about me.

But when you're going through infertility, not knowing if you'll ever be able to have your own child that you desire so much, every single pregnancy announcement feels like a reminder of what you have been unable to do for yourself.

As an overachiever in life (I was very competitive when it came to academics, at least in high school), and being able to get good grades and ace exams and the sort, it just feels sort of like a cruel joke that this is so difficult.

Then again, I was never good at sports. I was never good at running. And while I suppose that I could have practiced to my hearts content and improved my running, I still would not be an Olympic contender.

It's weird all the thoughts you have.

Will I ever be a mother? How will it happen? When will it happen?

And for now, we really would like to explore becoming parents naturally.

Adoption is awesome and it a whole other conversation for another time. It's definitely a consideration, but it's not at the forefront of the agenda at this time.